I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
