hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
