I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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