i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
