Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize