Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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