all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
