Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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