dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
