32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
