it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
