I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize