During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
