fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
