so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
