i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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