you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize