His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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