We're facebook friends in real life
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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