I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
