This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
