I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
