His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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