her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
