We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize