My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize