hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
