and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
