Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
