just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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