is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
