I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
