Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
