i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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