You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
