im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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