I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
COCAINE IS GR8
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
