do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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