C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
