There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I understand Curling. That high.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
