And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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