Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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