Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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