I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
