your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
