okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
