I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
