How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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