i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
