i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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