I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
