I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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