what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
