Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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