So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
