I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
