nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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