At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
