I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
