Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
