Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
