sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
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