It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
